Who Should Be The Next James Bond?

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I originally wrote and submitted this post on Comedywire.com, titled ‘Who Should Be The Next James Bond?’

Spectre James Bond

Remember when the rumors about Idris Elba becoming the next Bond made the Internet’s collective head explode? The idea of a black Bond was welcomed by many, but equally protested by opponents. “The movie Bond has to stay true to the book,” opponents would say; which of course made total sense because the book version of Bond was a famous shapeshifter who at one point or another, was Scottish, Welsh, Irish, English, and of differing height and facial features. Blond haired, blue-eyed Daniel Craig looks exactly like the dark haired, blue-grey-eyed, scarred Bond from the books.

F*ck logic.

The discussion about moving away from traditional Bond, however, didn’t stop there. As the new Bond film approaches, calls for a less misogynistic Bond, or the possibility of a female or gay Bond have been brought up. It honestly doesn’t seem like a bad idea. Who cares what Bond looks like, as long as he still gets to be an MI6 agent who travels the world and tells everybody his real name, while he has loads of sex and kills villain archetypes? After all, Piers Morgan thinks it’s a terrible idea, so it can’t be that bad.

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